Chapter 6 (Week 4)
This week, we are to continue pursuing and scheduling the type 1 activities that we have been doing last week, and add one more, possibly a type 2 activity.
We were to find 3 times our mood changed, and then journal our thoughts that were going on through our head when our mood changed.
The author discussed a made up patient, who was seeing him for depression. She felt like she was always on edge, irritable, just an awful person. She was working full time and bringing up children.
The author explains how he guided her through her thought patterns. For example, our thought patterns may fall into these groups: We make predictions that are wrong, we misunderstand someone's intent, we misread the situation.
Errors in our thinking can really hurt us. He explains that many times when we examine our thought pattern, for example: "I got frustrated an said something rude to my child, I'm a terrible parent. I'm a loser." We can get in a loop that ends in a loop like that - "I'm a loser." He proposes that we examine the actual evidence by completing a "Challenging your Thoughts Form"
In this FORM, we state the following: The EVENT // Our THOUGHTS // Our EMOTIONS // and then most importantly, we give EVIDENCE for MY THOUGHT, and then EVIDENCE AGAINST MY THOUGHT.
For example, the lady that felt like a loser because she was irritable and rude to her child can process her thoughts and see that evidence showed she actually DOES care and deeply love her kids. She could understand that yes, she was rude and irritable and try to be kinder in the future when they are fussy, but overall, that does NOT make her a bad parent and a loser.
"A big part of this practice is to grow toward accepting our imperfections, and not hating ourselves for being fully human." (pg. 115)The author also goes on to explain that this can occur with catastrophizing. This is when we have thoughts that are unrealistic, and can fuel anxiety.
A big way to deal with catastrophizing is realizing that sometimes our error lies in HOW BAD we think the outcome would be. For example, "I might blush in a meeting, what if I have a panic attack?" We can help ourselves see that even if that 'catastrophe' DOES happen, the outcome won't be as bad as we think.
When thinking about our thought patterns, specifically when dealing with our mood dipping due to an EVENT...we should "Practice talking to yourself like someone you care about." (pg. 117)
We tend to be SO much harder on ourselves than anyone else. So focus on talking to yourself more kindly, as if talking to someone you REALLY care about.
With practice, we can train ourselves to talk to ourselves more kindly and gentler. Also, remember when examing the evidence when filling out the Challenging your Thoughts Form, think- 1) Am I ignoring any evidence that would contradict my thoughts? 2-How likely is it that I'm seeing it as worse than it really is? 3-What would I say to someone I CARE about if they had this thought?
When looking at our thoughts and thought patterns, we can usually identify our core beliefs and fears. For example, the lady with who was depressed has the core belief that she's a failure, and all of the fears feed into it. "I'm spending too much time at work", "Everyone's disappointed in me", and "I'm a bad mother"
The author then asked the reader to try to come up with our core beliefs and fears, to make our core belief and fears chart.
This week, we are to identify 3 triggering events, and complete the Challenging Your Thoughts form for each one.
Remember, this is just journaling the following:The EVENT // Our THOUGHTS // Our EMOTIONS // and then most importantly, we give EVIDENCE for MY THOUGHT, and then EVIDENCE AGAINST MY THOUGHT.
We are also to continue to do our Type 1 and maybe even Type 2 activities, making sure to SCHEDULE them (please refer to Week 2 for identifying these activities)